what i plan for christmas 2012 … or not …….

the following text i wrote kind of at various social netoworking sites and offline in text editor … should be about identically published at






since about a week i try to start animating more of my ascende story ( what i have achieved so far can be overviewed at http://maylovehealaudiopodcasts.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/showing-my-picture-book-with-ascende-animation-stills/ ) … and kind of sit down … look at it … and stop again, feeling not ready to go on. one reason might be that i have not found my dietary and fitness rythm again, me blaiming christmas and new year for the interruption. but i have started to do training with little softweights ( 3 kg each arm ), now doing every day one hour. with diet also i see improvements coming, like more vegetables and salads, less carbohydrates. another area i am starting to get into direction i would like to permanently stay … i walked in the woods today for about an hour ball first, without having to think allways … ball first, ball first.

and i allow myself to watch tv, in order to get the stress off my head, the stress, to produce. and so i get the chance to watch

barbie praesentiert elfinchen …


one can say about barbie what one feels like, but this movie was really full of good understanding …. the little girl, what is in a competing like friendship with other girls the same age and all about being trendy or how to impress each other … and here then comes the little elf into her life…. interesting to see how the girl tries first to just capitalize on the little elf what got accidently into her reach …. and then trough experiencing honest friendship with the little elf… and also being enchanted positivly with the fairylike powers of the little elf to make plants grow …. she finally truly helps to save the environment where the little elf lives

seeing this movie, i suddenly feel less pressure to produce the animation to ascende movie …. but a trust, that there will be or allready are some movies, what
can go beyond this …. saving nature into nature parcs … approach and eventually a whole deep green agenda could become positivly lightheadedly, fun to watch and inspiring and moving at the same time … a fiction, what could show us the vertical skyscrapers in the city producing food and oxygen, recreational areas …. a fiction what could show us vast landscapes rewilding because they have been freed from agriculture demands…. a fiction what could show us how mining of minerals and oil and natural gas and metals etc. … comes to an end. a fiction, what can bring before our eyes a play where efficienct use of the minerals and metals we allready have refined and dug out … could be the star. nano …
a piece of fiction in word and picture, sounding and moving … what could make me cry like when i saw the little elfs using their harmonious lovepower to make the plants grow


several hours later, having slept one hour in between ( i am not sleeping enough these days, 6 to 7 hours only when i actually would like to sleep 8 to 9 ) … i again feel the background noise or kind of latent push to just get onto it… start drawing, use that keyboard and garageband and go for it animating the ascende story. having that said now, again the voice of reason comes in telling me, hey, your story is allready out since how many years ? 4 … so it is actually not kind of emergency to let people know about the possibility of free energy antigravitation devices enabling a abundant economy where everyone gets an autonomy allowing robotized home production unit. also there have been several fantastic beautyfull artistic design concepts being in the news both on the net and in glossy print magazines these years … concepts showing sky scraper filled with food production based on hydroponic or aeroponic agriculture systems.
sometimes i am tempted or play with the thought to just take these concepts and mix them together into a collage like setting. what shurely would not be of a big problem as long as i do not sell these collages and if i would make a reference to the skyscraper vertical farming concept designs.
but then again, there is this option i really would like best … me getting really fit and physicly in best form ever … like to really eat no more like a wolf, but truly enjoy my food, chew slowly 40 to 100 times each bite … together with every second day some light weightlifting aerobics … alternating with every other day doing some relaxing walking or light jogging … this regime then could help me to get from my now 92 kg body weight ( had 88.5 end of november 2011, and 101 in july 2011 )
to about 82 kg …plus minus 2 kg … in july 2012 … that would be me having reduced one fifth of body weight in one year, 20 kg in 12 months, what is a totally achievable thing to do. thing is, i have lost the 13 kg from july to september last year, what comes to about 4 kg a month … but then it bounced up again also because this initial high speed was a bit too much. i am not so sure about the six pack abs … of course i would like to achieve that once in my life … had allways a little belly as child … and later ( 2000 to 2005 ) was very nicely thin thanks to spiritual fasts and ganja smoking and lots of extatic dancing and very inspired singing, filming, photographing … but to be honest, this kind of upper body i have now worked on … and biceps … i had never in the 35 years i am cultivating this body … or better said, am allowed to co create this body. so i like that, muscles in the arms, a wide chest, upright walk. so i hope i do not overshoot it, like wanting too much too fast and then crashing. i hope i can go slowly steady at it and reach my weight goal combined with the fundamental change in how i eat.
suppose i stay on this slow but goodfeel train … and occasionally dance a bit for my self to not get all to much machismo bodybuilding fantasy minded, but to keep in mind my love to krsna govinda shiva style grace gentle movement … this then could be a base for occasionally play a tune or two on the keyboard, trying out the garageband software instruments … have a bit fun scribbeling doodling on my nintendo ds …
eventually start up scratch to perhaps do some more experimental free animations …. this all could eventually get me to the point where i would be in september or october 2012 at a stage of inner refinement, what would allow me to … very quickly and nicely …produce a nice sleek piece of word and graphic and moving and sounding … ficition and or documentary collaging ( i would guess 100 pages of writing plus an hour of sound and animations ) in a timeframe of 3 months … so that i could give myself and everybody who eventually likes it … a selfmade christmas present in 2012. of course, this all is projection and no hard plan, as there can be many things in between, most of all me telling myself … hey, nice of you, making this plan all the way 10 months in advance. cleverly thought, so now as you have prooved to yourself that you could think of it and theoreticly would achieve it if you were kind of discipline liking all the way and and and …. one can easily see where that is going … but really, this also is an important part. once one has seen it be possible and has seen it being realized by oneselfs in parts
( i did some utopian writing, made some original music, have done drawings, did collaging with picture material what is in the public domain … i have lost 10 kg … have built up some biceps … have done some dancing … )
at this awareness, the pressure to excell in it … is rapidly falling.

what actually is also very good. as one who tries to empty one s mind completly .. to be ready for this moment when inspiration gently arrives … and picking up the brush very lightly and softly … to find pleasure in the one line showing itself


3 Responses

  1. reading it again … i made mistake saying i do train every day an hour with 3kg softweights each arm … it is one hour every other day … like 3 times a week. alternating with a slow walk one hour in the woods the second day … or some light jogging. but this is all in the making … from what i read and know from my own experience this approx 6 months i am being on the fitness and weight councious avenue … i would say 5 hours of training a week shall be enough to reach optimal weight and then also to keep it … this includes the 2 to three hours spazieren … slow walking. 2 days of no training also will be fine.

  2. i have once started a project … where i wanted to accompagny the ascende fiction with a kind of reference list to actual hard proof realistic research and praxis events …. it is somewhere in the depths of my many ibook backups and on my iphone. as i have released myself from the urge to work feverishly on my one big animation movie or better even video game … i would like to start collecting materials on the go … at

    materials what can help creating utopian environments

  3. beginning of may 2012 i weigh now around 95 kg … i give myself may, june and july to get to 85 kg. most important change i have achieved this first week of may is to only eat minimal after 5 in the evening. today some steamed vennel and carrots with a bit of olive oil and apple vinegar and salt. drinking lots of mate tea this days and starting again to brew spice tea with ginger, anis, cinnamon, cardamon. stevia as sweetener helps a lot to reduce the chocolate.
    did bycicling 1 and more hours everyday this week.
    today even jogging one hour in late afternoon, 20 minutes classical, means on wood ways … 40 minutes on spot. still like the jogging on spot better, gives me kind of possibility to go in a trance state while looking at the same spot.

    as for the creativity, not too much signals coming from within, but a wish to ….

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